silence is an acquired taste

heard that from somewhere before; and by somewhere i mean dawson’s creek, and if you must know, yes i did watch the entire series this summer– don’t judge me; or do. i don’t regret it one bit and you don’t know my life! (i also watched the entire season of felicity 🙂

anyhow, i’ve always been a person who valued her solitude and i would always find myself needing some alone/quiet time every now and again. i was never afraid to be alone really, which is a small part of the many reasons that made up my mind about joining the peace corps. when you do your research about the peace corps, you find out just how much alone time you’ll be having in the 27 months of your service. in fact, one of the interview questions is, “how would you deal with loneliness when you can’t just pick up the phone and call your family or friends and the internet is definitely not a guarantee? exactly how would you fill your time?” i told my interviewer that i would pass the time by reading books and writing in journals, which is not completely a lie. i do a little bit of both now but i don’t like the absolute quiet very much anymore (because i get so, so much of it) so i only really read on train rides (i finished 2 books this summer) and i write on my blog  because lucky for me, i have internet (although it is slow as all heck)!

i’ve managed to keep myself pretty busy this past summer by being away from site. i went to various summer camps and worked with a lot of different people. and there was always something to do, somewhere to go to, and someone to talk to at any given moment but summer is now long gone and here i am, back at site, where it’s a completely different story. these days i find silence in my house where aside from the occasional bug or small animal, i’m the only inhabitant and even then the creatures don’t really say much, i’m the one who does all the screaming. har, har, har… i find quiet at my place of work, which is hard to imagine considering the fact that i work at a place where kids go to hang out and play but there, i’m literally nothing more than a fixture on the wall as people stare at me and pass me by (sad, i know but at least they’re not mean to me??) and finally, i find silence between myself and the people around my site. a huge part of that is the language barrier of course, but there is still the ever-present element of suspicion, i feel like. they are still wondering about who i am and where it is exactly that i came from. and i don’t blame them; i would probably do the same thing if i were them…and that’s all part of development work for ya. but as they say ’round these here parts, “shwiya b shwiya” little by little…

 

 

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